One day while Heather was walking through a jungle in Africa, she came face to face with a winged elephant. “ Wow,” exclaimed Heather, “ A winged elephant!”
“Where?” said the elephant.
“You can talk?” said Heather.
“Of course not,” replied the elephant, “Everybody knows elephants can’t talk. Have you been chewing Chakobsa leaves? Fancy that, thinking elephants can talk. What do they teach in schools these days? Next she’ll be thinking I can ﬂy.”
So saying, the elephant ﬂew oﬀ, leaving Heather a little puzzled. The next day, while Heather was walking through the jungle, she once again came face to face with the winged elephant.
“Hey. I thought you said winged elephants didn’t exist,” said Heather.
“Of course they don’t,” said the elephant, “ You must be imagining things.”
“But if you were imaginary,” said Heather, “ then could I do this?” and she stepped up to his wing and pulled one of his feathers.
“Ow!” exclaimed the elephant, “ What did you do that for?”
“To prove you exist,” said Heather.
“Well of course I exist. Any fool can see that. It doesn’t mean you have to go around pulling my feathers oﬀ. The villagers don’t even believe I exist, but at least they don’t pull my feathers.”
“Why don’t the villagers believe you exist?” asked Heather.
“Well, since everybody knows that elephants don’t have wings and can’t talk, they reason that they must have been chewing chakobsa plant and are hallucinating.”
Just then, two of Heather’s loving brothers came along. “ Leave the poor elephant alone, Heather,” said one of them, “ He has enough trouble with the villagers thinking he doesn’t exist, without you pestering him.”
“But it’s a talking, winged elephant,” exclaimed Heather.
“Of course it is,” said her brother. “ You haven’t been chewing chakobsa leaves or anything have you?” The other brother apologised to the elephant. “ I’m terribly sorry Mr Elephant Sir. I’m afraid my sister is a bit curious at times. She gets some idea in her head and then there’s no peace until she’s ripped all the wiring out of the house to see where the dirty electricity goes, or locked herself in the fridge trying to meet the little man who turns the light on and oﬀ.”
“It’s quite alright,” said the elephant, “ It’s rather nice to have someone to talk to every now and then. The villagers can get a bit funny you know. But on a more sober note,” the elephant said in a quiet voice, “ I’d advise you to watch out for the dodo bird. He’s a vicious, conniving creature.”
“I thought dodo’s were extinct,” said Heather’s loving brother. “Precisely. That’s why he’s got such a grudge against the world. You’d think that after all these years he would have learnt to forgive and let go of his bitterness, but no, his more upset with the world than ever.”
Heather and her loving brothers left the elephant in peace. The next day while Heather was walking through the jungle, she came across a dodo bird in the middle of her path.
“Hello there,” said the dodo bird.
“Do all the animals in this jungle talk?” asked Heather.
“Only if you’ve been chewing too much chakobsa plant. Have you met the ﬂying elephant yet?”
“Oh yes,” said Heather, “ He seemed very nice.”
“I’d watch out for him,” said the dodo bird, “ He’s a strange one. Very bitter. Uses the fact that the villagers don’t see him to go on rampages and crush the huts. I think he’s fond of smashing things.”
“Oh dear,” said Heather, “ I had no idea.”
“I can show you where he keeps his favourite smashed up bits…”
Overcome with curiosity, Heather followed the dodo bird. They followed a twisty, windy path, deep into the jungle. “It’s just across that clearing,” said the bird.
Walking across the clearing, Heather suddenly found herself trapped in quicksand with the dodo bird laughing at her from a nearby tree. Ordinarily, such a predicament would have quite defeated our ill fated heroine, but in an amazing ﬁt of resourcefulness, she remembered her swiss army rubber chicken. Flicking it to stretch mode, she whirled it around and around. Every arm movement was sinking her deeper into the quicksand, but she soon had enough momentum to swing the chicken around a tree and pull herself out.
Just then Heather’s loving brothers burst into the clearing, searching for Heather. “Watch out Heather! The dodo bird!” exclaimed one of them.
Enraged, the dodo bird ﬂew at Heather in a wild rush of fury. By this time Heather was quite upset herself, and whipping out her turbo-charged, samurai attack rubber chicken, she ﬂew into a frenzy at the bird.
Very soon, Heather’s loving brothers had to pull her back and tie her down to save the dodo bird from having it’s brains wiped all over the trees. The dodo bird limped oﬀ never to be seen again, and Heather and her brothers made their way home.
For some time afterwards, Heather was aﬄicted with horrible nightmares where she started oﬀ talking to nice ﬂying elephants, and ended up being attacked by vicious dodo birds. They quite disturbed her until one day she found a large elephant stool in her back yard and knew that ﬂying elephants were watching over her.