It was an unusually cool summer’s day and Heather was taking a stroll along the river’s edge in the beautiful seaside town of Port Macquarie. She had not got very far, however, when she heard a soft, whispery kind of whrumping noise from behind her. Whrump, whrump, whrump.
The noise stopped.
She started again. Whrump, whrump, whrump. The sound continued - almost too quiet for her to hear. Becoming a little concerned, Heather turned around to see what was following her. There, about three paces behind her, was a very innocent looking watermelon.
Though it was a very ordinary looking watermelon, Heather couldn’t help but feel like the rotund green melon was looking at her. She couldn’t see any eyes, but Heather was somehow reminded of a puppy’s sad stare. She tried walking backwards and the thing slowly rolled after her making the soft whrumping sound she had heard.
In spite of the doleful stare, Heather was a little worried about this thing following her. Quite frankly, she was becoming quite scared. She was just pondering what to do when some kind of hulabaloo broke out behind her. Heather whirled around in time to see somebody charging at her at top speed, all the while making barking noises like a rather large and angry dog. She quickly moved out of the way and was astonished to see the man run straight at the watermelon. The watermelon, needless to say, didn’t seem to like this at all and rolled away in quite a hurry.
The man straightened up and turned to face Heather. Now that she got a good look at him, Heather realised that he was in fact, incredibly handsome. He was dressed most fasionably in a black leather jacket and his hair was spiked up in a very trendy manner.
“I do hope you are all right,” said the man. He smiled and Heather felt her insides go all gooey. “My name’s Wilfred, by the way.”
The name struck Heather as being a trifle amusing but she wasn’t going to let something as petty as a silly name get in the way of a good infatuation. In a most gallant manner he kindly offered to escort Heather wherever she was travelling in case the watermelon came back again. Faced with the prospect of walking arm-in-arm with such a well dressed young man, she was quite ready to agree that the watermelon had been quite scary indeed.
Heather led them aimlessly around Port Macquarie, engaged in most pleasant conversation with Wilfred. She was just getting into a nice daydream about a pretty little cottage and Wilfred taking his shirt off to do handy-man type things when her reverie was shattered by a yell from across the street.
“HEATHER, GET AWAY FROM THAT MAN.” Came the roar. Heather was startled to see that it had come from one of her loving brothers. He immediately came bounding up to the pair.
Heather was quite indignant. “I wasn’t doing anything to him. You know Mum took all my knives…” She stopped abruptly when she realised that Wilfred had grabbed her quite viciously round the neck and had simultaneously drawn a rubber chicken from inside his jacket. He seemed quite threatened by Heather’s loving brother and was backing away, dragging Heather with him.
Heather’s loving brother advanced cautiously. Addressing Wilfred he said “If you so much as pluck a hair from my sister’s head you will most certainly regret it.” (Heather’s loving brothers were never very good at making threats). Wilfred, however, seemed to take this quite seriously. “This… this is your sister?” he stammered. Still advancing cautiously, a dark and menacing rubber chicken somehow appeared in the hands of Heather’s loving brother.
This was all too much for Wilfred, who suddenly dissapeared, leaving behind the faint smell of tropical fruit punch. Not knowing what to do, Heather did what she normally did in such situations and promptly fainted.
When Heather came to, she found that she was safe at home. Her loving brother explained to her that Wilfred was an evil man who turned young ladies into various fruit and veg. In an unusual moment of clarity, Heather realised1 that the watermelon must have been one of the girls he had transformed. She had no idea why he had been so afraid of her loving brother, but she was very glad that Wilfred had been stopped before she was turned into some kind of fruit.
Unfortunately, however, it seemed that Heather’s loving brother had not caught Wilfred in time after all. The family woke the next morning to find that Heather had been turned into a large cucumber. Heather’s loving brothers were sorely tempted to form a vigilante group and go after Wilfred, but they were to sensible for that. Instead, through many dangers, toils and snares, they tracked Wilfred down. Of course, they had many strange and wonderful adventures along the way and when they found him, they informed the proper authorities so that he could be brought to justice.
As for Heather, it was decided that there was nothing they could do except wait for the effects to wear off. Her wise and sensible father kindly found her a job with a respectable accountancy firm. They were so happy with her that she was actually promoted twice before she finally turned back into Heather and promptly lost her job.